Prepare the serving table with newspaper or brown paper. Gather lobster cracking tools. Have plenty of napkins on hand. Pour a glass of wine.
In a large stock pot, place the potatoes, onion, garlic and celery. Sprinkle in the Old Bay and salt. Drop in the bay leaf and thyme.
Pour the bottle of wine into the pot, as well as an additional 2 quarts (8 cups) of water. Bring everything to a boil over high heat. Then reduce heat slightly and simmer for about 12-15 minutes, or until the potatoes are fork tender.
Meanwhile, run clams and mussels under cool water, scrub them and remove any 'beard'. Discard any that are cracked or broken.
I choose to kill the lobsters quickly, instead of boiling them alive. The point of a chef's knife straight through the brain renders them brain dead. Do this only JUST before cooking.
Carefully lower the corn into the pot, followed by the lobsters. Tip the clams and mussels on top. Cover tightly with the lid and steam for 12 minutes.
Scatter the shrimp over the top of the shellfish in the pot. Replace lid and steam for 3 minutes, or until the shrimp is bright pink. You are ready to serve!
Have a friend help you remove the pot from heat. Remove the lid. Use a colander or 'spider' to scoop all the contents of your seafood boil out and place it on the table. Serve at once with melted butter and lemon wedges.
Zero Waste Tip: let the seafood stock cool, then strain and transfer to jars. Keep for seafood chowder, risotto or Simple Cioppino.
Notes
Add more corn if you like. Sometimes I will do 8 whole ears if I have a hungry crowd to feed.